Almost a month of not writing and now I figure out what I want to say.
1. I really need to get back into reading my bible and spending time with God. I feel my efforts and own selfishness have been missing out on what can be the most enlightening time of the day.
2. I need to go to the gym. My weight is constant, but I would like some metabolism back.
3. I figured my plans to align with God's plans a lot. Lucky God gave me the patience to understand it. I may not teach till next year. Now is the time to establish residency and pay some bills.
4. Got a job, hoping to hear about my schedule soon.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Guess who has the internet back!
This is not an attack on my parents. Its a message of hope and support for those hurting.
I am reminded of an recent conversation with my dad about my career choices. Of course every parent has expectations of their child's abilities and future, and sometimes we never meet their expectations. Many parents are disgusted and let their child know that the decisions they make are not wise and they really are a burden. Some parents continue to ridicule their child despite their success and happiness. I cannot begin to explain how much it hurts and can cause damage to many kids really trying to find their place in this world. I know to many people like that.
My parents have been disappointed in my abilities and failures. It sucks I am still unemployed and need their help. At the age of 26 I should be making bank by now, but that's not the case.
My parents have bended backwards for me because of my failures and at times not really encouraging. I remember my dad at times would suggest I do the military. I actually tried then gave up because I was spending too much time getting ready and was very unhappy.
But all that changed, my dad called me up and apologized to me for not supporting me with my careers and unemployment. He apologized for not encouraging and lifting me up. He helped me financially, but that was the only piece of the pie. I need the encouragement and love to really get me through this. My dad said he repented of his selfishness and his expectations, and was sorry for not really looking at how God was using me. I appreciated that, in fact, I cried. I did not expect that, nor did I realize that was happening this whole time.
My dad believes and knows God is doing something in my life. The path is not clear yet, but ever day is a new revelation and a new journey, and my dad knows I am on to something. He has offered to make the down payment for my teaching certification. Not because I am poor and unemployed. But because he knows God has big plans for me and my dad is seeing my abilities now.
I know there are a lot of people out there in the same boat that I am in, looking for support from their loved ones with the decisions they made. You at times feel you have to do what makes you happy and comfortable, even if people don't approve of it.
Maybe you changed careers, picked up a new habit, or changed your lifestyle. Whatever it is, I pray you remember that you parents still love you and will always be hard on you. The reason why, because they are your parents. But just remember sometimes their lack of support and ridicule is a hard way of showing you love. We are not children forever and for some parents is hard to lose their child due to adulthood.
How about some of your friends? Maybe you don't support decisions some of your friends make. There are friends of mine who have made decisions I don't support. I can't change them or get them to listen to me. But the biggest thing I can do is love them and continue to love them. Love is the biggest support Christ gave to his people. We are all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God. But its amazing we can still be scum of the Earth and God will still give us that huge hug. All He ask in return is a relationship. For some people opening up that part is embarrassing and hard especially with what we are struggling with, but its amazing God overlooks at all and just says "You are a blessing, take a walk with me."
I am servant, friend, future teacher, church marketer, media techie, and son. My parents love me and my God loves me. I have a great family.
I am reminded of an recent conversation with my dad about my career choices. Of course every parent has expectations of their child's abilities and future, and sometimes we never meet their expectations. Many parents are disgusted and let their child know that the decisions they make are not wise and they really are a burden. Some parents continue to ridicule their child despite their success and happiness. I cannot begin to explain how much it hurts and can cause damage to many kids really trying to find their place in this world. I know to many people like that.
My parents have been disappointed in my abilities and failures. It sucks I am still unemployed and need their help. At the age of 26 I should be making bank by now, but that's not the case.
My parents have bended backwards for me because of my failures and at times not really encouraging. I remember my dad at times would suggest I do the military. I actually tried then gave up because I was spending too much time getting ready and was very unhappy.
But all that changed, my dad called me up and apologized to me for not supporting me with my careers and unemployment. He apologized for not encouraging and lifting me up. He helped me financially, but that was the only piece of the pie. I need the encouragement and love to really get me through this. My dad said he repented of his selfishness and his expectations, and was sorry for not really looking at how God was using me. I appreciated that, in fact, I cried. I did not expect that, nor did I realize that was happening this whole time.
My dad believes and knows God is doing something in my life. The path is not clear yet, but ever day is a new revelation and a new journey, and my dad knows I am on to something. He has offered to make the down payment for my teaching certification. Not because I am poor and unemployed. But because he knows God has big plans for me and my dad is seeing my abilities now.
I know there are a lot of people out there in the same boat that I am in, looking for support from their loved ones with the decisions they made. You at times feel you have to do what makes you happy and comfortable, even if people don't approve of it.
Maybe you changed careers, picked up a new habit, or changed your lifestyle. Whatever it is, I pray you remember that you parents still love you and will always be hard on you. The reason why, because they are your parents. But just remember sometimes their lack of support and ridicule is a hard way of showing you love. We are not children forever and for some parents is hard to lose their child due to adulthood.
How about some of your friends? Maybe you don't support decisions some of your friends make. There are friends of mine who have made decisions I don't support. I can't change them or get them to listen to me. But the biggest thing I can do is love them and continue to love them. Love is the biggest support Christ gave to his people. We are all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God. But its amazing we can still be scum of the Earth and God will still give us that huge hug. All He ask in return is a relationship. For some people opening up that part is embarrassing and hard especially with what we are struggling with, but its amazing God overlooks at all and just says "You are a blessing, take a walk with me."
I am servant, friend, future teacher, church marketer, media techie, and son. My parents love me and my God loves me. I have a great family.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Its after midnight
What an amazing Sunday service!
I am still kind of in shock over how dead on and surreal the sermon related to my situation.
The sermon was about contentment. Over the previous blogs, I have shared my Houston experience and the awesomeness.
To be honest, it has not been awesome. I have had interviews almost every week I been here. I have had interested prospects which I have turned down. One was a multi-level marketing company, for those unfamiliar with that kind of marketing just know its a deceitful and often expensive practice. Another was retail store that was offering me part-time, this store was over a hour away and after 4 interviews they wanted another interview an application filled out.
So long story short, I am poor and unemployed. I have been since August. But the crazy thing is I am not scared or worried. I do have those brief depressive moments where I feel like a failure and worthless, but who doesn't at times of desperate need. I am very content in my situation. I understand my place in Texas and my current situation. It sucks, but I am not starving and doing unhealthy thing to pass me by. I am actually doing real good, for I know I will always have a place to stay and a little cash.
Philippians 4:10-14
10How grateful I am, and how I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but for a while you didn't have the chance to help me. 11Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. 12I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. 14But even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.
This was such a great reminder. Paul was in jail and from the outside, looked like he was suffering. But thanks to his ministry partners and blessing of friends he was surviving. Now the crazy thing is he did not feel like he was suffering in fact, he was content. He displayed enough Faith, that God has given him the perspective to survive and strength to survive.
Thats how I feel. I have a place to stay, I have food in the fridge, money in my account, bills are being paid for. I may not be the richest guy in the world, but I am the richest guy in the world. This career thing will happen, when it happens until then I should press on and focus on God.
I am still kind of in shock over how dead on and surreal the sermon related to my situation.
The sermon was about contentment. Over the previous blogs, I have shared my Houston experience and the awesomeness.
To be honest, it has not been awesome. I have had interviews almost every week I been here. I have had interested prospects which I have turned down. One was a multi-level marketing company, for those unfamiliar with that kind of marketing just know its a deceitful and often expensive practice. Another was retail store that was offering me part-time, this store was over a hour away and after 4 interviews they wanted another interview an application filled out.
So long story short, I am poor and unemployed. I have been since August. But the crazy thing is I am not scared or worried. I do have those brief depressive moments where I feel like a failure and worthless, but who doesn't at times of desperate need. I am very content in my situation. I understand my place in Texas and my current situation. It sucks, but I am not starving and doing unhealthy thing to pass me by. I am actually doing real good, for I know I will always have a place to stay and a little cash.
Philippians 4:10-14
10How grateful I am, and how I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but for a while you didn't have the chance to help me. 11Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. 12I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. 14But even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.
This was such a great reminder. Paul was in jail and from the outside, looked like he was suffering. But thanks to his ministry partners and blessing of friends he was surviving. Now the crazy thing is he did not feel like he was suffering in fact, he was content. He displayed enough Faith, that God has given him the perspective to survive and strength to survive.
Thats how I feel. I have a place to stay, I have food in the fridge, money in my account, bills are being paid for. I may not be the richest guy in the world, but I am the richest guy in the world. This career thing will happen, when it happens until then I should press on and focus on God.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Hardest Things
Well I did it, it was the hardest thing I could of done. I fell for someone, we became real close friends and I had asked for space.
I feel sad that it came to this but I know this for the better. We kept a close friendship, unlike any I have had but I had to remove myself for awhile. Even though she did not feel the same way about me, we understood our friendship was important. For awhile, my feelings never were an issue. I actually forget it was even there, but lately they crept in and made it real hard.
Every morning call, every evening goodnight, every text, it became more apparent that I was becoming more attracted to her. I was falling hard. I truely cared for her and had genuine love for her. I looked past her imperfections and perfections and saw who she really is. And it really hurt when I couldn't be the one she thinks about at night.
But that's life, distancing myself was the hardest and only thing I could do. These feelings became a distraction. God wants me to focus on him and not on me right now and that's what I needed to do. So while I wish God's plan right now involved her, it didn't and God let me know.
I had to protect both of us, not just me, neither of us needs to get hurt at the expense of someones feelings. We cannot change each other, so why press on hoping we could.
So while I have not spoken to her in a couple days, I am still thinking about her and praying for her. Its the only thing I can do right now. I don't know when I will be on speaking terms with her again, I hope soon but God wants me to free myself of distractions and I chose to do that.
I miss her, I really do but I didn't distance myself just for myself. I hope she understands.
I feel sad that it came to this but I know this for the better. We kept a close friendship, unlike any I have had but I had to remove myself for awhile. Even though she did not feel the same way about me, we understood our friendship was important. For awhile, my feelings never were an issue. I actually forget it was even there, but lately they crept in and made it real hard.
Every morning call, every evening goodnight, every text, it became more apparent that I was becoming more attracted to her. I was falling hard. I truely cared for her and had genuine love for her. I looked past her imperfections and perfections and saw who she really is. And it really hurt when I couldn't be the one she thinks about at night.
But that's life, distancing myself was the hardest and only thing I could do. These feelings became a distraction. God wants me to focus on him and not on me right now and that's what I needed to do. So while I wish God's plan right now involved her, it didn't and God let me know.
I had to protect both of us, not just me, neither of us needs to get hurt at the expense of someones feelings. We cannot change each other, so why press on hoping we could.
So while I have not spoken to her in a couple days, I am still thinking about her and praying for her. Its the only thing I can do right now. I don't know when I will be on speaking terms with her again, I hope soon but God wants me to free myself of distractions and I chose to do that.
I miss her, I really do but I didn't distance myself just for myself. I hope she understands.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Decisions
I don't understand why people continue do the things they do, even if it's hurting them. I do know it's because we become so comfortable with it that we zone out the pain. Its something I am realizing myself with certain decisions I make.
I also don't understand why people ask for genuine advice and do the complete opposite even if they know what will happen. The outcome is always the same and never leaves happy. I realized I do the same thing too, it just sucks when people do it to you.
I been praying my hardest for a situation I am in. One I found myself caught in, it has become a habit that could really hurt me emotional. While I blame myself for not getting out sooner, I put myself before the situation rather than allow God first. This situation does not involve anything illegal by the way, its more of a distraction I should of caught on to.
I wish I could say the right things to you when we speak and things change, but I can't do that. Spend some time and talk with God and allow him to change you. He can give you more advice than I can and he is a better listener. If I am not there much, I just need some time.
I also don't understand why people ask for genuine advice and do the complete opposite even if they know what will happen. The outcome is always the same and never leaves happy. I realized I do the same thing too, it just sucks when people do it to you.
I been praying my hardest for a situation I am in. One I found myself caught in, it has become a habit that could really hurt me emotional. While I blame myself for not getting out sooner, I put myself before the situation rather than allow God first. This situation does not involve anything illegal by the way, its more of a distraction I should of caught on to.
I wish I could say the right things to you when we speak and things change, but I can't do that. Spend some time and talk with God and allow him to change you. He can give you more advice than I can and he is a better listener. If I am not there much, I just need some time.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Lack of internet
I do not have the internet, who ever's wifi I was stealing is no longer working. So now I am negotiating with my brother about purchasing some internet.
Things are going okay here, I am still unemployed and living off of the blessings of friends and family. But I have nothing to fear or worry, I have been blessed with an interview almost every week since I been here.
But I have decided to do something different, I do not receive a media job I may do my alternative.
My alternative is teaching 4th through 8th grade. I have already applied for the certification and have to make the down payment before classes start.
Teaching has always been that other career I would of done. I have always been active in working with youth in church. I have taught children's church before and loved it. It seems like a safe career because of the demand here in Houston for teachers. I take 9 classes, few tests, and a year-long paid internship and I will be certified. Its real easy to do and I know it will be fun.
Also teachers are paid $44,987 a year!
Things are going okay here, I am still unemployed and living off of the blessings of friends and family. But I have nothing to fear or worry, I have been blessed with an interview almost every week since I been here.
But I have decided to do something different, I do not receive a media job I may do my alternative.
My alternative is teaching 4th through 8th grade. I have already applied for the certification and have to make the down payment before classes start.
Teaching has always been that other career I would of done. I have always been active in working with youth in church. I have taught children's church before and loved it. It seems like a safe career because of the demand here in Houston for teachers. I take 9 classes, few tests, and a year-long paid internship and I will be certified. Its real easy to do and I know it will be fun.
Also teachers are paid $44,987 a year!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Cool things about Texas!
1. The food! There is even an Ethiopian Restaurant!
2. The opportunities here.
3. A cool church, Crossbridge Church. Great worship, message and people.
4. Things to do: ice-skating, canoeing, shopping, eating, drinking.
5. Guitar Center
6. Apple Store
7. Alamo Drafthouse Cinemas. Enjoy a good beer and eat a meal. Expensive but filling.
8. Level of creativity with arts, food and beverages. Although Guinness is a guilty pleasure, a pub decided to combine it with other brews like Dos Equis and Killians and it rocked my taste buds.
9. Number of shopping experiences here. Galleria, Memorial Mall, or the many shopping centers.
10. The different kinds of tacos.
11. Its here, whatever you need you will find it.
12. Its about to get crazy down here with Halloween.
13. $1.50 movie near my apartment.
2. The opportunities here.
3. A cool church, Crossbridge Church. Great worship, message and people.
4. Things to do: ice-skating, canoeing, shopping, eating, drinking.
5. Guitar Center
6. Apple Store
7. Alamo Drafthouse Cinemas. Enjoy a good beer and eat a meal. Expensive but filling.
8. Level of creativity with arts, food and beverages. Although Guinness is a guilty pleasure, a pub decided to combine it with other brews like Dos Equis and Killians and it rocked my taste buds.
9. Number of shopping experiences here. Galleria, Memorial Mall, or the many shopping centers.
10. The different kinds of tacos.
11. Its here, whatever you need you will find it.
12. Its about to get crazy down here with Halloween.
13. $1.50 movie near my apartment.
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