As I make this transition to a new era in my life, I had to evaluate who I am and what is stopping me from moving forward. I don’t claim to know everything but I really feel God has used a time such as this to give me a spiritual slap in the head and it has given me so much peace. I believe you can feel this spiritual slap in the head that gives you peace.
There are habits in my life I need to ride myself of. There are curse upon my family I need to pray away. And there is anger toward my parents, I need to forgive.
First thing I had to do was conquer my fear. I need to address the root of my fear and remove it.
I was moving to completely different state, thousands of miles away with little money. I was moving to Texas with no job and I am sharing a one bedroom apartment with my younger brother. I was really scared. I have never been this far from home for an extended period of time. I almost felt like an alien.
I started to worry. All these thoughts cluttered through my head, what if I don’t find a job, what if I spend all my money, what if I get robbed or get in a car wreck? What if my mom and dad cut me off? Will all work and no play make Chris a dull boy?
All these thoughts were not positive thoughts and I had to free myself of being worried. I had to remind myself I am starting over and it will be a hard transition. I would have to work at it and plant my feet as soon as I get to Houston. But what if I fail? I feared failure. That word kept screaming in my head. And then the Lord revealed a verse, I got tattooed on me awhile back, Matt 6:27 – “will all the worries add a single moment to your life?”
Simple question with only one true answer.
I had considered the idea of failure long before I set foot in Houston. I considered my fail-safe plan long before I set foot in Houston. So what if I fail? I always knew I could go back home. I could live with mommy and daddy, be supported by them till I get back on my feet like I have for some many years. There is that possibility. But what I had really done by even worrying about failure for me was create a reason to meet my fail-safe plan.
I was like one of those charts many businesses have in their building that list future investments or goals, after x amount of dollars is made, they color it in. My fail-safe plan was at the top, all I had to do was color in each week as I remained jobless or I could make a list of goals I knew I could not meet each week, and color those in. Possibilities were endless. My life was not going to be a chart colored in and failure was not going to be an option.
I had one chance to start over, one chance to try something new. I was taking a huge risk and I knew this what I had to do. I have the support of my family and friends.
What do I have to lose? What is wrong with trying something different? I need a change and here is my chance to do it with the support of my family and friends, what an awesome blessing to receive.
Oh my family, my parents what a mess. I cannot begin to count off the promises, the curses, the lies, and the patterns of brokenness coming from our relationship. But I love them; they took me in when I lost my job. They clothed and feed me, they gave me money. They may not have given me a lot but they blessed me. I survived and now they are providing me with an exit out of here.
Will all these worries add a single moment to my life? More importantly, Will all these worries about failure add a single moment to my life? That’s a big NO!
No comments:
Post a Comment